State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
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