can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
Randomize
