i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Randomize
