How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
Randomize
