Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
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