so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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