What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Randomize
