also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
