im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
It's blow job season.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
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