i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Randomize
