Bridesmaid dress fitting. I look like a Weeble and Michelle looks like Malibu Barbie. I have to keep reminding myself that she has herpes so really, the playing field is more level than it might initially seem.
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
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