doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Randomize
