I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Randomize
