It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
Randomize
