you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
My ATM looks so different sober.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Randomize
