I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
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