batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
Randomize
