So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
I just want to make out with him forever
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
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