Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
Randomize
