Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
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