he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
Randomize