I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
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