That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
