It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
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