Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Randomize
