do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
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