I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Randomize
