1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
