It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Randomize
