Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
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