I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Randomize
