im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Randomize
