did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
