forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
