Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
i just google imaged poop.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Randomize
