She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
Randomize
