Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
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