Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
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