We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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