Plan B is the new Plan A
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Randomize
