Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
Randomize
