Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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