she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
Randomize
