I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
im about as happy as oj after his trial
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Randomize
