kristin has been a bad kristin
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Randomize
