Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
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