there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
