I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize
