haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
Randomize
