found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
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