i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
Randomize
